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We know Alan Cumming has had sex with journalists. But would he ever like to try being a journalist, like Naomi Campbell, who recently interviewed Hugo Chavez for British GQ? “I’d love to ask certain questions to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama,” he said at the launch of the Italian Commission’s Made in Italy ad campaign at the Hearst tower. “I’d like to know where they stand on equal rights for gay people. I’d also like to interview George Bush, just to watch him squirm.” (Maybe he could ask him, “You’re into your cock, aren’t you?”) But what about the people who really matter?, we pressed. Which celebrities would he like to interview? “I’d like to find out who all those blonde girls are — there’s a whole lot of them who look the same, the ones from The Hills, and that Hayden, um, Pan-i-tare? She’s everywhere,” he said. “And who’s that one, that Kim Ka-shi-shen?” Kardashian? We said. The one who made a sex tape with Brandy’s brother and now has a TV show? “Yes! My friend told me she’s a skanky whore, and I’m like, ‘Wow, she’s a lot more interesting than I thought she was.’” Like any ambitious reporter, Cumming would like to land the big story. “I’d love to interview Britney,” he said wistfully. Then he changed his mind. “But I’d rather her do it with one of those E! TV people, or Oprah.” That’s it, Alan Cumming will take care of Hillary and Barack. Let the professionals handle Britney. —Amy Preiser
