Ivy League Grad Will Rub Your Shoulders, Write Your Biography

Astoria: Councilman Vallone, if you thought you could just put that preconstructed, toxin-belching smokestack there on 37th Street and nobody would notice, you were sadly mistaken. Oh, and “you’re slowly turning the area into a ghetto,” too, by the way. [Queens Crap]
Carroll Gardens: If you give this “Ivy-educated” author, psychologist, educator, and editor a free place to live, he (she?) will be your shrink and write your memoir. Yeah, we’ve heard that one before. [Pardon Me for Asking]
Harlem: They’re standing by original funk-soul brother Bill Clinton up here, especially with that Obama being “a nice white middle-class guy.” Ouch! [NYT]

Hell’s Kitchen: Ooh la la, look at this S-shaped, shrub-topped condo-gri-la that might (and that’s a big might) come to the huge parking lot that developer Two Trees bought for $130 million. [Curbed]
Park Slope: Rents here and in Williamsburg are now higher than in Hell’s Kitchen and on the Lower East Side. But Park Slope doesn’t have chorus boys, and Billlyburg doesn’t have, uh … oh, forget it. [NYO]
Roosevelt Island: Hey taxi officials, while you’re trying to nab all those cabbies who blab on their cells and balk at using the credit-card swiper, why don’t you do something about all the ones who squirm out of taking people to R.I., huh? How about that? [Roosevelt Islander]
Times Square: What did the big sumo wrestler say to the little sumo wrestler who appeared to be fellating him on a huge Hyundai billboard? We don’t know, ‘cause it was in Japanese, duh! [Copyranter]