The Fuzz Play Hide the Salami With a Perp

Brownsville: A would-be thief shoved seven large salamis under his clothes at Western Beef. But the police found his salami. The police found his salami. [Gothamist]
Bushwick: These 'shwickers aren't reacting very compassionately to a former New York editor's account in this week's issue of getting assaulted there. Except for this one: "Being a lamer doesn't mean he deserved to get his jaw broken." Wow, uh, thanks. [BushwickBK]
Central Village: After a $123 million sale fell through last year, the grand old Emery Roth–designed Devonshire House on East 10th and University has been bought by Mets owner Fred Wilpon for $110 mil. It'll go condo. [NYP]

Ferry Point: Will the cityever build that long-promised public Bronx golf course on that big piece of landfill between the Whitestone and Throgs Neck Bridges? And, uh, if they do, they will plug up those methane leaks first, right? [NYDN]
Williamsburg: Everything will soon be illuminated in McCarren Park when they install those giant nighttime soccer-field lights and the swells in the new Karl Fisher Row condos will look down upon them ... and smile quietly contented smiles. [Curbed]
Windsor Terrace: This unpretentious, quasi-gentrified hood gasps and gags for breath in the suffocating shadow of its overgroomed evil stepsister, Park Slope. But Farrell's Bar endures. [The Real Deal]
Zerega Avenue: Meanwhile, in this part of the Boogie Down, folks are worried that a planned medical facility will eat into their parking spaces. God forbid. [Bronx Times]