Penélope Cruz and Salma Hayek had their camera and laptop, respectively, stolen while on vacation and are now worried about pictures getting out. In yet another Scientology video, Tom Cruise takes credit for saving the lives of fireman in the aftermath of 9/11. CNN’s chief national correspondent, John King, is converting to Judaism to appease the father of bride-to-be, congressional correspondent Dana Bash. Michael Keaton’s real name is Michael Douglas, but he changed his surname to Keaton to avoid confusion. Chris Martin attacked a paparazzo who was shooting him and Gwyneth Paltrow leaving Mount Sinai hospital.
Inaugural Survivor winner Richard Hatch is “losing it” serving his four-year jail sentence for tax evasion. Ben Affleck caused the ladies on the hill to swoon when he visited the office of congressman Nancy Pelosi. “Militia,” the dude from the new American Gladiator remake who used to do soft-core porn, signed a $35,000 endorsement deal with men’s-care company Headblade. Miss USA Tara Conner is grateful to Donald Trump for getting her into rehab instead of de-crowning her. Sundance news: 50 Cent is set to interview Paris Hilton for MySpace; eighties movie star Lea Thompson (remember Back to the Future?) waited in line with all the other normal people for her I.D.; Josh Groban is performing at a $2,500-a-head charity event at the house Brad Pitt is renting. Demi Moore feels sorry for Britney Spears. Spencer Pratt asked for some girl’s number behind Heidi Montag’s back at the Cloverfield premiere in L.A. but got shot down. Bill O’Reilly sat courtside near Jay-Z and Chris Rock at a Nets game. While partying with Diddy on New Year’s Eve in Miami, O.J. Simpson called three friends to tell them, “Don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty of money. I’ll make my bail.” Along with Rosie, Will Ferrell, Val Kilmer, and Joan Rivers are all working on one-man shows for Broadway. Bill Ash, the former assistant of deceased hedge-fund guy Seth Tobias, now claims that Tobias’s wife, Filomena, was having an affair with celebrity fitness trainer Doug Caporrino at the time of her husband’s death.