Hey bloggerati! Queens-bred billionaire and master of the hostile takeover Carl Icahn is totes blogging. Why? He wants to “finally focus on more than making money,” the 72-year-old shareholder activist told The Wall Street Journal, and so he’s starting the Icahn Report, where he can post funny YouTube videos and recaps of his favorite television shows. Kidding! According to the Journal, Carl’s entries on the Icahn Report, which has not yet launched, will “highlight what he sees as management problems at public companies, including those he hasn’t invested in.” Which basically means he’s found a way to do one of his favorite things — bitch about poor governance and poor performance at public companies — without having to buy a large stake in them and install himself on the board. Welcome to the Internet, Carl. It was made for people like you.