Amy Sedaris Kills Goldfish With Only Her Breath. Allegedly.

Amy Sedaris
Wouldn't you trust this lady with your babies? Photo: Getty Images

David Gordon Green's Snow Angels is a movie all about the relationship between a teenager, his older babysitter, and her family. So, naturally, at the event celebrating the movie last night at MoMA, we asked the cast if they ever had the hots for nanny. "Like, all of them," Green admitted immediately. "I tried [to hit on them, but] they wouldn't have me! I was a dirty little kid." As for his techniques? "Lookin' up skirts and all that. I tried to [use a makeup mirror to look at her] when she was in the bathroom, and it didn't work," Green said. "She got pissed [and] sent me to bed with no supper. And beat me." Connor Paolo, Gossip Girl's Eric, is just 17 but remembered having an eye on his Iranian nanny's young daughter. Amy Sedaris, however, had a view from the opposite side. She was always the babysitter. She remembered with a shudder that awkward ride home with the dads, who inevitably had "booze on their breath," driving you a distance you could walk. And then! "This one kid once accused me of killing his goldfish. I was leaning over it breathing, and he told his parents I killed it, so they never had me back," Sedaris griped. "I will never let it go!" Man, we wish Amy Sedaris had been our babysitter. Imagine the insanity. And the cupcakes! —Jocelyn Guest

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