At Least They Didn't Light Up a Fatty Next to the Core Reactor

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Really? We mean, really? Two security guards at the Indian Point nuclear-power facility were put on paid leave this weekend for coming to work with cocaine in their systems, according to a spokesperson for the facility. For the love of God. One of the guards was tested after returning from a month of military leave, and the other was tested after she bolted from her station to the bathroom. Forget for a moment the frightening applications of combining incompetency, blow, and nuclear fission. Two weeks of mandatory all-expenses-paid vacation in response to being hung-over at work? We are so in the wrong business. —Maggie Shnayerson