Conan O'Brien Will Be Drinking Diet Coke on Saint Patrick's Day

Conan
Photo: Getty Images

At the American Ireland Fund's St. Patrick Day party last night, Conan O'Brien picked up an Irish Spirit award for his work with the charity Labels Are for Jars. But as it turns out, the funnyman sadly isn't stereotypically Irish. He didn't even like fairies as a kid! "My only connection to Irish lore was through the breakfast cereal Lucky Charms," said O'Brien. "And the Leprechaun horror movies. Leprechaun in the Hood!" But any self-respecting Irishman, leprechaun-loving or otherwise, should at least be able to put a few beers back every March 17, right? Not so for O'Brien. "I get very self-conscious around a lot of Italian men and African-American men pretending to be Irish," said O'Brien. "Of course, on Saint Patrick's Day someone like me just becomes an Irish piñata. 'It's Conan O'Brien — ARRRRRRR!!!'" The late-night host has had to deal with his fair share of drunken Irish fans — though the madness has calmed down with upped security budgets — and now chooses the "less obvious" holiday route. "I want to have a Diet Coke, eat some melba toast, and go to bed early. Pretty sexy, huh?" —Jocelyn Guest