Enough With the Effing Osmonds!

The Effing Osmonds
This is from the show recently. The conspiracy continues! Photo: Getty Images

A brief rant: All morning today Good Morning America has been shrieking about how all the original members of the Von Trapp Osmond Family Singers are all performing together for the first time since Iwo Jima or something. Does anybody care? Is there any one person in this country who wakes up in the morning and thinks, Maybe today is the day the Osmonds will reunite? We didn't understand all the hullabaloo when Oprah had all 2,500 of them onstage in November, and we still don't understand it now. If they had all the Jacksons onstage together, that would be one thing. But the Osmonds? There isn't even one named Jermajesty! And why are they always smiling? They're Mormons, not Scientologists. It's just creepy.