Finally. TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello is hearing “from an extremely reliable source” that when the new season of the Greatest Show Ever restarts on April 21, a gay male character will be revealed. Now, these sorts of rumors happen often and are usually not much more than wishful thinking, but we’re inclined to believe this one, since we’ve always thought that a show as campy and awesome as Gossip Girl should not be without a Gossip Gay. But TV Guide says the gay character is an existing character, which means that we’re probably not going to get a Ricky Vasquez type swishing onto the Upper East Side, but an awkward “I think I might be gay” plotline. So: Who could it be? Like you, we immediately thought of Chuck, who we have always suspected only slept with Blair so that he could be one degree of sexaration from Nate, and who we know for a fact wears an electric-blue suit and matching sneakers in the April 21 episode. Plus, he was gay in the books. But something about that didn’t feel right. So we turned to Eric. After all, his reasons for being depressed have never been revealed, his highlights are rather flamboyant, and we’re pretty sure he’s been in more than one scene at Barneys. But then! A dark-horse candidate emerged in our minds: the Captain. All the signs are there: Repression. Mania. Skinny, sexless wife. Impressive biceps. Plus, he is called the Captain. We cued our DVRs and studied Nate’s father’s hair whorl. Aha! Counterclockwise!