Justin Timberlake's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Speech: Written by Beavis?

JT
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He is one of America's top-selling artists, but Justin Timberlake wasn't exactly an audience favorite when he introduced Madonna at last night's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction. We have always loved JT, but our esteem for him plummeted during every minute of his speech, and that's saying a lot, since the speech was more than ten minutes long. "A strange thing happens when you're asked to induct Madonna into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame," he began. "You become aware that every single word you can possibly imagine saying about Madonna suddenly sounds much hotter, much dirtier, and a whole hell of a lot more fun. Induct her. Induct her … Why yes, I'd love to. Enter the hall. [Deep voice] Every chance I get." Thanks, Beavis. He went on, despite the groans of the audience. "Madonna has changed the way our world sounded, she's changed the way our world looks, and somehow she still found time to publicly kiss at least someone who I may or may not have kissed myself," he paused. "Of course, you all know I'm talking about Sean Penn." Assorted peevish sounds rippled across the crowd. "They're jokes!" he said, because no one knew. "They're jokes!"

Finally, his speech was over — but not before he got a jab in at Britney, who you may recall recently lost custody of her children and was recently hospitalized. "The world has long been full of Madonna wannabes — and I might have even dated a couple [groans] — but there is only one Madonna." For God's sake. Cue the music. —Bennett Marcus

Related: Loo k What They Made Poor Iggy Pop Do! [Vulture]