Nobody Messes With Karl Lagerfeld

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Karl Lagerfeld's bodyguard threw down with a paparazzi who was trying to snap photos of Lagerfeld and Jay-Z during a Fendi shoot. Kim Cattrall put down her beer at a Rangers game after being busted on the JumboTron. Vanity Fair's Dominick Dunne is taking a leave to deal with bladder cancer and finish a book. Tina Fey wants to give Ashley Alexandra Dupre a role on 30 Rock. Observer scribe Spencer Morgan and fiancée Alexis Bryan are expecting a child. Angelina Jolie stands to make up to $10 million for exclusive rights to photos of her twins.

David Patterson is having some trouble in the Governor's mansion because his bed is too high and he can't find anything.The new Abercrombie & Fitch catalog will be shot by Bruce Webber, cost $200, and sold only in London. Brooke Shields won't be wearing high heels on Lipstick Jungle, because she is getting surgery on her foot. Roger Clemens has been named "Unsexiest Man of the Year" by the Boston Phoenix. Restaurateur Elaine Kaufman kicked NBC announcer Bert Pence out of Elaine's because he was handing out White Castle burgers during a memorial service for voice-over actor John Henry Kurtz. Robin Williams and his wife of nineteen years split up, citing irreconcilable differences. Tattoo artist Mario Barth broke the Guinness record for, uh, World's Highest Tattoo by arting Tommy Lee on a flight to Miami. The Los Angeles Times story about Puff Daddy's involvement in the 1994 shooting of Tupac turns out to have been based on forged FBI documents. Pink has settled with Vladmir Kush, the artist whose painting she used in a music video without consent. Richie Sambora was hit with a DUI in Laguna Beach while his 10-year-old daughter was in the car. Oliver Stone cast Elizabeth Banks to play Laura Bush to Josh Brolin's George W. in his upcoming biopic. Danny A., owner of Soho hot spot Upstairs, is opening a late-night diner called Downstairs, right beneath it. Christopher Clanton, the actor who played Savino Bratton on The Wire, was stabbed in Baltimore trying to break up a fight. Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, and daughter Violet went to the Smithsonian in D.C.