He's a SINNAH!

Pope
Photo: Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, istockphoto (kneeling man)

So the Pope is here for what, like, three days, and of course Giuliani can't help himself — he has to just get all up in it. First, he brings Judi, the harlot with whom he hath adultered and shattered the sanctity of his second marriage to Donna Hanover, to Mass at St. Patrick's. Second, she shows up wearing something tacky and decidedly not Prada, which, yes, may be only offensive to the Pope's aesthetic senses but still. And then. Then! He goes and gets Communion as if he is not a Mortal Sinner of the First Class. Reuters was apparently outraged by this and stood outside St. Patrick's Cathedral to confront him. The conversation, according to the news service, went something like this…

Parts of this dialogue have been changed, for dramatic effect. Mostly toward the end.

Reuters: Hi Rudy Giuliani. Did you take Communion from a priest?
Rudy: Yes.

Reuters: Are you uncomfortable with having broken the Church ban on the divorced and remarried taking Communion?
Rudy: No.

Reuters: The Church does not recognize divorce and teaches that divorced Catholics are still married to their earlier partner unless the Church grants them an annulment, or ruling that the initial marriage was invalid. You suh are a sinnah! Sinnah! You shall be salted with fire!
Rudy: Whatevs.

Reuters: Holy shit, there's Bloomberg! A Jew! Sinnah! Sinnah! Sinnah!

Giuliani breaks rules by having Communion at papal mass [Reuters]