In today’s Wall Street Journal, GOP mastermind Karl Rove writes an editorial about John McCain, demanding that the candidate be more open and honest about his past. Recently, Rove says he “heard things about Sen. McCain that were deeply moving and politically troubling.” Troubling? This sounds interesting! But it turns out the things he learned were worrying not because there are weaknesses he needs to reveal, but because not enough people know that McCain is actually more spectacularly super than we could have ever imagined. In fact, he may be a certifiable saint! He healed a fellow prisoner while he was a POW in Vietnam, he inspired Christian charity in one of his captors, and his wife, Cindy, rescued two children from Mother Theresa’s Bangladeshi orphanage (not just the one, their adopted daughter Bridget, that was previously known). “If Mr. McCain is to win the election this fall, he has to open up” about how awesome he secretly is, Rove implores. Hard to argue with that, huh?