If we were Les Moonves and we wanted people to get off Katie Couric's back, we would have given some totally awesome quote to reporters, like, "Why don't you go chug a quart of bull piss, cowgirls?" You know, to take the heat off her for a minute and really throw everybody off track. But Moonves predictably went the other route, calling a CBS News staff meeting and saying that Katie Couric is his "anchor today, tomorrow, and in the future." Sure, it's a powerful statement, but we think ours just has a better ring to it. And seriously, nothing Moonves says is going to dissuade reporters from printing the rumors that Couric will depart the anchor's chair after the election. Even in his column reporting Moonves's support, the Washington Post's Howard Kurtz quotes two other "top network executives" who say her days are numbered. Who cares if Moonves, who is technically the top network executive, says she's sticking around? There are plenty of other high-placed execs who say she's not. Man, CBS is getting to be like the worst kind of gay underwear party: all tops and no one to anchor it all.