Merrill Lynch announced this morning that it lost $1.96 billion in the first quarter and plans to cut 4,000 jobs. But everything’s going to be fine!, CEO John Thain said on the conference call this morning. Because unlike some people (cough, Bear Stearns, cough), the firm has enough capital to meet its obligations and isn’t going to go hit up Dubai or wherever for lucre. So, yeah. Take that, Internet chatterboxes! Yeah, he’s talking to you. “For those of you who like to blog, we do not have any plans to raise any additional capital,” Mr. Thain said on the conference call. Still, DealBook can’t resist pointing out that Bear Stearns reported a $110 million profit for its first quarter, even as it is being acquired by JPMorgan. Just saying!