As you can imagine we were so excited to run into Michelle Trachtenberg last night at an event at the new Theory store. OMG, we said. There are only thirteen days left* until the re-premiere of Gossip Girl, and you’re totally going to be on it! Tell us everything! “I play Georgina Sparks. She is basically the evil bitch from hell,” Trachtenberg told us. “She’s been part of the Gossip kids’ lives for a long time, and she’s coming back around to make her presence known.” Sounds exciting! Will she wreak havoc among the established relationships on the show?
“Oh yes, definitely,” Michelle nodded. “She is going to mess with everybody involved.”
Ooh, we said. Like who?
“Well,” Michelle said coyly. “Her main target is Serena.”
Excellent, we said. Because in the last season Serena bored us half to death. Will Georgina get her way in the end?
“You’ll have to watch the season finale,” Michelle said.
Well, duh. We moved on. So, we asked, was there any truth to the reports that she was dating Chace Crawford?
Michelle giggled in a way that was not so much mirthful as defensive. “I don’t read into tabloid bullshit, and I don’t discuss my private life,” she said. “Chace is my co-worker, so…” Weird giggle again.
Ohhhh, we said. Well, “Page Six” today said you were an item we offered — helpfully, we thought, since Michelle had said that she didn’t read tabloid bullshit. They said you were at Upstairs in Soho, “flirting heavily” and an onlooker told them that you were “all over each other,” so like, you are dating, right? Or maybe not “dating” but—
Michelle interrupted. “I mean, did you not just hear me? I don’t talk about tabloid bullshit, and Chace is a co-worker of mine, so … Tabloids make up crazy shit, and I don’t have to play into it.”
Yikes! Well, so-rry, we said, and slunk away like a mathlete after being laughed at by the prom queen. It was only later we realized: Michelle wasn’t actually being a bitch. She was just showing us a preview of her character. She’s so thoughtful like that. Thanks, Georgina! Michelle! Whatever! Love ya mean it! Call us every five minutes! —Andrew Goldstein
*This was last night. Now there are only twelve days left. Twelve!