Name: Simon Doonan
Neighborhood: Lower Fifth Avenue/University Place
Occupation: Barneys creative director, Observer columnist, and author of Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You.
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Diana Vreeland. She was bonkers in a totally life-enhancing way.
What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
I'm depressingly health foodie: I love the "wee dragon bowl" at Angelica Kitchen.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
I have many jobs. I'm a Jackie of all trades.
Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
I would get more jobs and make more shekels — but nothing illegal.
What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
The Homecoming by Pinter — it was really sick. I loved it. It was also the only thing I've seen on Broadway since the eighties.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
I'm a soft touch.
What's your drink?
Green tea. I'm disgustingly healthy.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
What's your favorite medication?
I try not to take anything. A Ricola is hard-core for me. I'm a delicate flower.
What's hanging above your sofa?
Which one? We have about 800 Jonathan Adler couches in our pad.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Am more concerned about time than money. If it takes longer that fifteen minutes I'm ready to bolt.
11 p.m. As soon as Bill O'Reilly starts ranting, I'm ready to hit the hay.
Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
The new Times Square is more flashy and visually exciting. The old one was cooler but dreary.
What do you think of Donald Trump?
I love him. He's an icon. He's also totally unpretentious.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
The 5 billion–degree heat in the subway in the summer.
Who is your mortal enemy?
When you are in retail, you cannot have enemies. Everyone is a potential customer.
When's the last time you drove a car?
Every weekend, to escape to Long Island.
Who should be the next president?
Times, Post, or Daily News?
I'm a New York Post lover.
Where do you go to be alone?
I'm never alone. I love to be with Jonathan and our dog, Liberace.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
If you can endure the smell of a street fair and not pass out, then you qualify.
See Simon read this Thursday, April 10, at the Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble, 7:30 p.m.