Some lucky (and highly wealthy) Sox fan bought David Ortiz’s “cursed” Red Sox jersey today. You know, the one the Yankees dug up after discovering that a construction worker had buried the shirt in a concrete slab under the new Yankee Stadium? Anyway, the Yanks handed it over to the Jimmy Fund, the Red Sox’s charity, which then put it up for auction on eBay. Today's final bid of $175,000 came from Kevin Meehan of Mendon, Massachusetts, the owner of Imperialcars.com. It’s a mighty sum for sure, but it’s going toward cancer research, which is always great. We were even getting a little teary-eyed when Meehan talked about how his father died of cancer and his stepfather is suffering from the disease. Then, however, we saw the part in the Huffington Post article where Meehan says: "I have three young boys that I take to the games and they would have killed me if I didn't buy the shirt."
Wait, his kids would kill him if he didn’t pay $175,000 for a shirt? Dude needs to do himself a favor and buy some new kids while he's at it. Before he becomes one of those vacant-eyed dads on My Super Sweet Sixteen, staring helplessly as his kid pitches a fit because he wouldn’t rent him a diamond-encrusted climbing wall for his birthday party. That never turns out well for anyone. —Noelle Hancock