We always joke that everything in life should come with a two-drink minimum like at stand-up comedy shows, and we were so right! Vindication! A new study reveals that a drink or two a day may make for stronger bones, while more than two drinks may lead to a broken hip (due to bone loss, not because wasted people are falling down). People in the study who drank between one half and one alcoholic beverage a day were 20 percent less likely than teetotalers to sustain hip fractures, according to The American Journal of Medicine.
What is it about two drinks? It’s that magic number on which so much social interaction hinges. It’s enough to make you feel good but not enough to get you sloppy. And why is it we New Yorkers can so rarely limit our consumption to two drinks? Do we just not want to good times to end? Is it because we have more taxis than you can wave a hand at and don’t have to drive home? Or is it because we’re an extreme generation living in extreme times and are completely incapable of moderation? (Remember the first time you found out that four drinks is considered binge drinking and you were all, “That’s not binge drinking. That’s a warm-up”?)
If you’re on a date, the two-drink theory is also a good indicator of how your night will turn out. If you have more than two drinks, the date is going well and you’re probably going to hook up. If it’s not going well, you usually won’t have more than two drinks. There’s that awkward moment after you’ve each already had two drinks when the waitress asks, “Another round, guys?” and it’s like she might as well be asking, “Do you want to have sex?” Then there’s that pause where the two of you look at each other and have to, like, decide.
The two-drink litmus test can also be used when you’re having drinks with people connected to a job opportunity. If you and your prospective employers get tanked together, it’s a good sign. But if the meeting doesn’t go beyond two drinks, it probably means you’re not getting the job. Or it means that they have kids and are really devoted to their family, in which case you shouldn’t take the job anyway because you’ll be stuck at the office till 10 p.m. every night doing their work while they peace out at 5 p.m. —Noelle Hancock