True story: We once sat a few rows in front of Geraldo in a movie and watched him make out with someone for an extended period of time. Seeing him work that big fluffy mustache around that woman’s mouth was a life-altering experience from which we’ve never really recovered. It was one of those moments you don’t know whether to categorize as fantastic or horrifying. We eventually went with the former. His appearance on Fox & Friends this morning, however, fell into the latter category. The morning couch monkeys were talking about Barbara Walters’s dalliance with married African-American senator Edward Brooke back in the seventies. When asked his thoughts on the affair, Geraldo cracked, “Once you go black, you never go back.” Groan! Of course the comment doesn't even make sense. Babs was 46 at the time of the affair, and it’s not like she went on to date only black men (although that would've been pretty awesome).
Besides, let's not forget that, in his own autobiography, Geraldo copped to affairs with Liza Minnelli, Chris Evert, Margaret Trudeau, Bette Midler, "and at least 1,000 other women." Geraldo, you went Wack, Thwack, Quack, and Rack — and later you went back. Why can't Barbara? —Noelle Hancock