This morning’s Times has a lengthy story that aims to tell readers about Barack Obama’s wingman, the 26-year-old giant Reggie Love. (Side note — that is the best name ever.) We learn that Reggie is six foot five, he played football and basketball at Duke, and he will basically do anything for Barack. But what we really took away from the article were the new details that slyly emerged about the candidate himself.
• He “eats pretty much anything, from chicken wings and barbecue and ribs to grilled fish and steamed broccoli.” [Ed: Um, the chicken wings and barbecue he’s clearly eating while at “down-homey” campaign events. Which probably means the grilled fish and steamed broccoli are eaten on his own time. Which means that Obama basically consumes the diet that pet-food companies would like you to imagine your cat wants to eat.]
• Obama watches SportsCenter nearly every day.
• Obama says he has “gotten pretty fond of Jay-Z” and has even been known to brush that dirt off his shoulder. [Ed: OMG.]
• “Mr. Obama sometimes flosses his teeth to ESPN while lying down.” [Ed: OMG, but in a totally different way.]
• Obama doesn’t like mayonnaise, asparagus, or more than one light beer. [Ed: He would really get along with my gay boyfriend.]
We also learned that the Times doesn’t know what a fist bump is and describes the action as a “closed-fist high five.” Which makes them about as square as this article paints Obama to be. Good thing he has Reggie around, because that dude seems totally awesome.