Every once in a while, something happens to somebody else that is meant to happen to you. Like, an old couple in Westchester wins the lottery — or a woman from Topeka earns millions for inventing something absurd like the zippered dust ruffle. Today, something happened to a restaurant owner from Sheepshead Bay that was definitely meant to happen to us. Brian Jordan, 37, was fooling around on his boat when it detached from its mooring near Coney Island. He plunged into the ocean to hook it back up, but was overwhelmed by the waves and nearly drowned. And then the most amazing thing happened: A SEXY SHIRTLESS SURFER DUDE DOVE IN AND RESCUED HIM. What? That actually happens in the real world? On Coney Island, no less? And the best bit is, after carrying him 100 yards back to shore and helping resuscitate him, he disappeared. The only clue as to his identity is the above partial picture of his face and tattoo. He kind of looks like Nick Lachey.
Seriously. This happened to some random straight dude? Gay men and women have been fantasizing about this exact scenario (even, secretly, the Nick Lachey part) for years. Life is so unfair.