Welcome Suri! Did You Have to Bring Mumsy and Dada?

Tom Cruise
Scientology's holy family, in town. Photo: Splash

So there are a few Tom Cruise developments today that are making us a little uneasy. First of all, after his weirdly unsettling performance on Oprah last week (could Katie have said "I love you, Tom" more times?), we were comforted by the fact that he and his family live in a castle in the sky all the way on the other side of the country. But then this weekend it turned out that Tom, Katie, and the adorable Suri have invaded New York. They're wandering around on our streets — perhaps as we speak! That set us a little on edge. Then, PopSugar pointed out the terrifying countdown on Cruise's personal Website this morning. What was going on?? We fretted. What was he counting down to? Is it some apocalyptic Scientology end of days? Is L. Ron Hubbard going to return to earth, with Xenu in tow, and destroy all of us nonbelievers? Why does it have to happen here? We knew we shouldn't have let all those Scientologists bother people on the subway.

Ah. Now we see. It was actually a countdown to a really awesome video montage of Tom Cruise's last 25 years as an actor. So, um, less terrifying than we thought. But also a little bit unsettling. That frightening Hillary Clinton–on–crack laugh? It's a quarter-century old.

Tom Cruise [Official site]
Tom, Katie, and Suri Take Manhattan For the Weekend [PopSugar]