Hedge-Fund Maybe-Suicide Detective Has A Lenny Briscoe Moment

Briscoe: master of the one-liner. Photo: Courtesy NBC

There are a lot of questions out there about Samuel Israel III, the hedge-fund manager whose SUV was found parked with a suicide note, "Suicide Is Painless," scrawled on the hood on Hudson Valley's Bear Mountain Bridge yesterday; the day Israel was supposed to check into a Massachusetts prison for a twenty-year sentence he got when he defrauded customers of $450 million. Questions like, Is it weird that police have not yet found his body? Did he really commit suicide? Or is he on the lam? State investigator Bruce Cuccia has been answering these questions from the press all day long, which is probably why he let a little Lenny Briscoe humor slip out in response to a reporter from the Lower Hudson Journal-News this afternoon:

Asked why Israel would drive himself to prison, Cuccia said, "I have the same question. What, do they have valet parking?"


Nah, but we hear they've got it on the Other Side! Ha! Er … wait...to early to make jokes?

Armonk hedge fund swindler may have leapt from bridge to avoid prison [Lower Hudson Journal-News]