Remember when J.Lo was called Jennifer Lopez, wore visible lip liner, and dated P. Diddy, who was then called Sean “Puffy” Combs and had more of an interest in guns and thuggin’ than in, well, Broadway? It’s been nine years since the termination of that beautiful relationship, which happened soon after, you may recall, their fateful outing in 1999, when the two were arrested speeding away from a shooting at midtown’s Club New York with a stolen gun in the car. Lopez never testified in the ensuing court case, even though “she” did in the Law & Order episode about it (“Three Dawg Night” starring Kerry Washington!), and Johnnie Cochran managed to keep Combs out of prison (his protégé, the rapper Shyne, took the fall). Now we may get to live it all again.
A women who was shot in the face that night is for some reason only now suing Combs for $130 million, and her lawyers have subpoenaed Lopez and will compel her to give a deposition. We sincerely hope that this goes to court and that furthermore Cold Case picks it up and turns it into an awesome period episode, wherein everyone is wearing backless tops and velvet pants and “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” and “No Scrubs” are piped in at every opportunity. Because that would be awesome.