So last night we were watching a rerun of Seinfeld in which Elaine was telling Marla (Daphne from Frasier) about how guys tend to get weird after sex. “The man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over,” she explains. “I mean, something happens to their personality, it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there.” Elaine is pretty blasé about it, but according to the Daily News, that’s not the case with all women. Take, for instance, 23-year-old Kristina Caban, who persuaded a Guy Who Never Called to meet up with her at the Chelsea Inn — then Tasered him and used hot metal to brand an “R” on his torso. Kristina’s going to jail, and the News takes this opportunity to look back at other New York ladies who actually followed through with their revenge fantasies.
There was the Williamsburg “Herpes Avenger” — a gal who got the STD after having unprotected sex with a guy and then covered the neighborhood with posters of his picture reading “I have herpes!’” (Um, not to play it down or anything, but lady, you’re in good company). Jessica Grose from Jezebel peed on her ex’s porch after he dumped her, and another woman put a marble in a past beau’s car door to, uh, drive him crazy. But the one that really got our attention was the work of one Lakisha Atkinson, a cheated-on probation officer who made her man an Ex-Lax cake and then reveled in the results. “He ate the whole thing. He thought it was delicious,” she told the News. “I’m sure he’ll never forget it!” Satisfying for her, absolutely, but also a warning to future generations: Atkinson was 31 when she concocted this scene. What will be the fate of those who wrong girls at the Brooklyn School for Global Studies? —Lori Fradkin