Prostie Purveyor Cecil Suwal's Bad Trip

Cecil Suwal regresses at court.
Cecil Suwal regresses at court. Photo: Newscom

We feel sort of bad for Cecil Suwal, the 23-year-old who pleaded guilty yesterday to running the day-to-day operations of the Emperors Club VIP, the prostitution ring that gave the world "Kristen" and took away Eliot Spitzer. It seems like Cecil might just have really terrible luck. Not only did she hook up with an agency that happened to be the very agency that would be at the heart of the biggest prostitution scandal New York has ever seen —and will now serve 21 to 27 months in jail — but she apparently was the Girl Who Had to Go to the Hospital After Taking Mushrooms in college. "One time, I was hospitalized for taking poisonous mushrooms, which my body rejected and that's what happened," Suwal said. Ugh, it makes you wonder what went wrong in Cecil's youth. Was she also the Girl Who Got Alcohol Poisoning at the party? The Girl Who Wore a Back Brace? Who everyone called Four Eyes? No, it's worse: "I didn't know this chick at all," Kurt Backes, a "standout wrestler" who went to high school with Suwal told the Newark Star-Ledger. "The name is sort of familiar, but I can't put a face to it. She definitely wasn't well-known." Ouch. Who knew the terminally unpopular turn to prostitution?

'Kristen' Madam: I'm Guilty [NYP]