Starbucks Shoves Brooklyn Down Your Throat

Photo: The Brooklyn Paper / Eric Ros

The branding of Brooklyn continues. First they announced that someone was writing a Brooklyn version of Sex and the City, then MTV hit us with the news that there was a Real World: Brooklyn show in the works. Now Starbucks has created a drink called The Brooklyn, a vanilla-bean Frappuccino with a caramel swirl. At 40 more cents more than a standard Frappuccino ($4.90 for a venti), it’s like a little liquid metaphor for the borough itself — overpriced, cloying, and perfect for kids! The Brooklyn Paper reports:

Created by a Starbucks district manager after noticing high school girls customizing the traditional vanilla bean frappuccino, “The Brooklyn” consists of nothing more than the ubiquitous chain’s existing drink, enhanced with a bit more sugar.
They let schoolgirls decide what goes in The Brooklyn?? See this is why 21 is the legal age for drinking. You can’t trust minors to pick their own beverages. In more disturbing news, there’s no caffeine in The Brooklyn! That’s the real deal-breaker right there. A drink is not really a drink unless it makes your hands tremble, we always say.

According to The Brooklyn Paper, the beverage has already garnered its first celebrity endorsement.

Denzel Washington and John Travolta apparently quaffed a few during the filming of The Taking of Pelham in the neighborhood last month, a production assistant said.
We expect this sort of thing from John, but et tu, Denz?

Now the question remains, will Starbucks dare to make The Manhattan? If so, will it cost approximately $12, have quadruple the caffeine of their normal coffee, and be administered via an IV drip so that we could switch out the plastic bag come nightfall and replace it with one holding a bourbon-and-vermouth Manhattan?

What would be in your Manhattan? Leave it in the comments section! —Noelle Hancock


starbucksbrooklynwhen will they serve long island iced teajohn travoltadenzel washingtoncultural capitalMore

Latest News on Daily Intelligencer

What Happened to the Glorious, Mysterious Google Barge?

It's just ... gone?

Liberia, Sierra Leone Presidents to Skip Obama Summit Due to Ebola Outbreak

Because, priorities. 

Eric Cantor Will Resign in Mid-August

So that his successor will have seniority.

Legalize This Now!

The Times wants to legalize pot. New York wants to legalize cutting the tags off your own damn mattress. 

Paul Ryan Isn’t Afraid to Send You to Bed Without Dinner If You Don’t Do Your Poverty Homework

How many hoops should the poor have to jump through in exchange for a safety net?

72-Hour Unconditional Humanitarian Cease-fire Reached in Gaza

Beginning Friday morning, the U.S. and U.N. announced.

Signs in Hasidic Brooklyn Suggest Dressing Modestly; Women Not Having It

Cover up for Israel. 

You Probably Shouldn’t Travel to Places With Ebola, Says CDC

Don't go. Don't get Ebola.

George W. Bush Loves His Dad So Much He’s Writing a Book About Him

"George H.W. Bush is a great servant, statesman, and father," said W.

Ted Cruz Punks John Boehner Again, This Time on Immigration

World's saddest leader of a legislative body loses once more.