Starbucks Shoves Brooklyn Down Your Throat

starbucks
Photo: The Brooklyn Paper / Eric Ros

The branding of Brooklyn continues. First they announced that someone was writing a Brooklyn version of Sex and the City, then MTV hit us with the news that there was a Real World: Brooklyn show in the works. Now Starbucks has created a drink called The Brooklyn, a vanilla-bean Frappuccino with a caramel swirl. At 40 more cents more than a standard Frappuccino ($4.90 for a venti), it’s like a little liquid metaphor for the borough itself — overpriced, cloying, and perfect for kids! The Brooklyn Paper reports:

Created by a Starbucks district manager after noticing high school girls customizing the traditional vanilla bean frappuccino, “The Brooklyn” consists of nothing more than the ubiquitous chain’s existing drink, enhanced with a bit more sugar.
They let schoolgirls decide what goes in The Brooklyn?? See this is why 21 is the legal age for drinking. You can’t trust minors to pick their own beverages. In more disturbing news, there’s no caffeine in The Brooklyn! That’s the real deal-breaker right there. A drink is not really a drink unless it makes your hands tremble, we always say.

According to The Brooklyn Paper, the beverage has already garnered its first celebrity endorsement.

Denzel Washington and John Travolta apparently quaffed a few during the filming of The Taking of Pelham in the neighborhood last month, a production assistant said.
We expect this sort of thing from John, but et tu, Denz?

Now the question remains, will Starbucks dare to make The Manhattan? If so, will it cost approximately $12, have quadruple the caffeine of their normal coffee, and be administered via an IV drip so that we could switch out the plastic bag come nightfall and replace it with one holding a bourbon-and-vermouth Manhattan?

What would be in your Manhattan? Leave it in the comments section! —Noelle Hancock

Tags:

starbucksbrooklynwhen will they serve long island iced teajohn travoltadenzel washingtoncultural capitalMore

Latest News on Daily Intelligencer

6 Actually Interesting Things You Missed in Thursday’s Midterm Races

In which Lena Dunham urges girls to vote and Scott Brown gets a geography lesson.

Alleged Cop Killer Eric Frein Captured After 48-Day Manhunt

The suspect in an attack on Pennsylvania state troopers was on the FBI's most-wanted list.

Jon Stewart Confirms NBC Wanted Him to Host Meet the Press

“My guess is they were casting as wide and as weird a net as they could.”

At Least Lindsey Graham Knows His Audience

"I'm trying to help you with your tax status."

3 American Siblings Found Dead in Mexico

They went missing a few weeks ago.

This Is What $28.5 Million Gets You at Luxury Tower One57

A photo tour of the model apartment on the 58th floor.

Teletubbie Breaks Into Home and Steals Chinese Food by Dumping It Into a Man-Purse

He couldn't have left it in the carton?

Anti-Gay Lawmaker Wants to Ban Tim Cook From Russia Because of Ebola and AIDS

Obviously.

NRA Reminds Gun-Loving Voters to Be Afraid of Everything, Including ISIS, Mexicans, and Obama

A peek into the election issue of their fearmongering magazine.

North Korea Will Quarantine Everyone From Everywhere Over Ebola Fears

Because banning all tourist visits was apparently not enough.