And we wonder why Southerners hate us. Andrew Giuliani, the 22-year-old son of the former mayor, was cut from the Duke University golf team in February as coach O.D. Vincent abruptly decided to halve the size of the team. In what Giuliani’s lawyers call “a bizarre Lord of the Flies scheme,” the coach tried to rescind Giuliani’s student-athlete responsibilities. When Giuliani wouldn’t sign the paperwork cutting off his ability to train at Duke’s state-of-the-art golf center, he claims Vincent tried to turn his teammates against him. According to the 198-page lawsuit that was filed yesterday in district court in Durham, North Carolina, the coach and the school are interfering with Giuliani’s plans to live life as a professional golfer.
We know you have a lot of questions. So do we. Like, why is a 22-year-old only going into his senior year? Kidding, sort of. We bet you’re actually wondering how good this kid was. Well, according to ESPN, he was ranked twelfth out of the fourteen members of his team. Knowing that, we’re betting you’re now wondering where he got the balls to sue his school for cutting him when they wanted to shrink the team. The answer to that question is obvious: from Donna Hannover, of course.
A co-worker of ours shed a little bit of light on the situation for us. “Duke,” he explained, “is the place where asshole New Yorkers and New Jerseyans send their most hated children to befoul the South.” Sure, this co-worker went to rival UNC, but we see his point. It’s not an indictment of the legendary school, but of the people who sometimes give it a reputation for entitlement. (Side note: Giuliani’s lawyer also represented a couple of Duke lacrosse players involved in a civil suit over phony sexual-assault accusations made against them in 2006.) Come on, Andrew: An editorial in the student newspaper wouldn’t have done the trick? Perhaps a kegger fund-raiser with a surprise appearance by George Clinton?
Andrew has said he doesn’t want his father to be involved in all of this. We wouldn’t either. If we tried to pull this kind of stunt, our dads would kick our asses.