Anthony Agnello —"Cousin Vinny" to his paesans — wanted what everyone wants: to work with the things he loved; and to be a success. For a while he ran a business where he rented out strippers, but that fell apart after he rented one to the local high school. Last year, he tried opening a Subway sandwich shop in the Bronx but was shut down by the chain for putting up Al Capone posters and not wearing regulation uniform. You can hardly blame him. Who wants to wear a visor? Or gloves? Vinny wanted to feel the air tickling his hair and the cool meat on his fingers. He wanted freedom. So he struck out on his own. He opened a place down the road, calling it, "Cousin Vinny's Way," which promised free fountain sodas and $5 foot-long subs along with "six hours of nonstop, hard-core, live action from some of the most beautiful young ladies who have ever chosen to take their clothes off in public." Food and sex combined? George Costanza would have approved. But Subway did not. Since he was still using their wrappers and other such paraphernalia, they're suing him, and yet another of Cousin Vinny's dreams has been deferred. "I know I'm a little rough around the edges, but I was just trying to run an honest business," he told the Post today. Stay strong, Cousin Vinny. They can take your money, but they can't take your spirit.
Most Viewed Stories
Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, and Scarlett Johansson Have an Older-Man Problem
Jessica Lange on Caitlyn Jenner Comparisons
The Case of the Amazing Gay-Marriage Data: How a Graduate Student Reluctantly Uncovered a Huge Scientific Fraud
Who Is the ‘Night’s King,’ the White Walkers’ Leader on Last Night’s Game of Thrones?
Game of Thrones Recap: Between a Wight and a Hardhome
Ellie Goulding and Lorde Partied With Katy Perry (Don’t Show Taylor Swift This Pic)
Caitlyn Jenner Looks Incredible on the Cover of Vanity Fair
The Story Behind Outlander’s Disturbing Season One Finale
Outlander Author Diana Gabaldon on the Season-One Finale, and What Changes to the Book Were Hard to Swallow
Amy Schumer and Tina Fey Made Out for Feminism
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerAfter Failing 95 Percent of Airport Security Tests, TSA Gets a New Director
In 67 out of 70 tests, undercover agents were able to get weapons and fake bombs past screeners.Senator Bernie Sanders Forced to Clarify That He’s Not a Stoner
Thanks a lot, Obama.Can You Go to Jail for Posting ‘Threats’ on Facebook? The Supreme Court Won’t Say
The court dodged the free-speech issues raised by case about violent rap lyrics.Reminder: Don’t Eat Newark Street Fish
Not a wise dinner option.Climate-Change-Deal Negotiators Are Terrified of Congress
“We know the politics in the U.S."Malaysia Airlines Rebranding After That Whole Losing-a-Plane Thing
Its new CEO has set a plan in motion to revamp the struggling airline.102-Year-Old Thinks Presidential Candidates Are Too Old
"These are all old men. I think we need young blood."Hurricane Season Is Here
Thankfully, it's supposed to be quieter than usual.GOP Unified in Agreeing That Rand Paul Makes Them So Angry
"If he thinks it's not nice to disagree, he's probably in the wrong race.”Former Nazis Received $20.2 Million in Social Security Benefits
Congress prevented these payments from happening last year.
Thunderstorms are cool and also terrifying.New York Competition No. 49: Commencement Speakers
The latest installment of our game.John Oliver on U.S.’s Role in FIFA Mess: It’s Like ‘Kesha Arrested a Group of Bankers’
Last Week Tonight tackles soccer again.Dick Cheney Boasts of 7 1/2-Year Record of Preventing Terrorism
The Bush administration was in office for seven and a half years, right?This 92-Year-Old Woman Finished a Marathon This Weekend, What Did You Do?
Harriette Thompson became the oldest woman to finish a marathon on Sunday.Reporter Resigned to Sharing Donald Trump’s Views on Trade
The potential presidential candidate offers unsolicited views on the free-trade debate in Congress.Watch Out for Flash Floods Today, New York
The rainy weather will continue into Tuesday.Lindsey Graham to Continue Having Fun by Making Presidential Bid Official
He's slated to announce his run on Monday in South Carolina.Indicted FIFA Official Cites 'Onion' Story as Proof of U.S. Conspiracy
A former Vice President of FIFA believed a World Cup could be organized and launched in a single day.U.S. Surveillance Powers Lapse After Senate Deal Is Blocked
Three parts of the Patriot Act, including bulk phone data collection, have temporarily expired after Rand Paul blocked a deal on surveillance reform.
Marilyn Mosby and Loretta Lynch are not just indicting criminals: They're trying to clean up corrupt cultures.Mother of Silk Road Founder ‘Shocked’ by ‘Draconian’ Life Sentence
"Murderers who actually kill someone don't get that."NBC Reportedly Looking for Something Else for Brian Williams to Do
Rather than simply go back to anchoring Nightly News.Crane Crashes Into Midtown High-rise
Several injuries have been reported.Biking Accident Ruins John Kerry’s Europe Trip
He broke his leg.What You’re Really Seeing From the 100th Floor of One World Trade Center
At the highest high, it’s a great, complicated metropolis.Beau Biden Dies at 46
He was hospitalized earlier this month.Bruce Jenner to Make Post-Transition Appearance in Vanity Fair
Annie Leibovitz is reportedly set to shoot the story.Enterprising New Yorker Caught Charging Tourists $400 for Free Ferry Ride
A man even bolder than the $30 hot-dog vendor.Martin O’Malley Gives Hillary Clinton Someone Else to Run Against
The third entrant in the Democratic primary faces an uphill struggle to define himself with voters.
8 Actually Good Things That Happened This Week
It's the freakin' weekend, baby.Ross Ulbricht, Founder of Silk Road, Sentenced to Life in Prison
“I wish I could go back and convince myself to take a different path.”Denny Hastert Indictment Linked to Alleged Decades-Old Case of Sexual Misconduct
The Los Angeles Times reports that the payments were made to conceal sexual misconduct.Teens Today: Boring As Hell
America's youth are drinkin', smokin', and doin' it at alarmingly low rates.Plane Forced to Cede Skies to Tiny Drone Flying Above Prospect Park
The passenger jet was on its way to La Guardia.What the Charges Against Laura Kipnis Tell Us About Political Correctness
A university opens a gender bias investigation against a professor for ... writing a column.FIFA Scandal Doesn’t Keep Sepp Blatter From Winning 5th Term
"I am the president of everybody."The Presidential Election Is More Than a Year Away and Campaign Ads Already Have Fire-Breathing Eagles
It's way too early for this.After 785 Years, Oxford University Finally Decides to Put a Woman in Charge
Professor Louise Richardson has been nominated to become the first female vice-chancellor at the British institution.
The former Maryland governor will likely announce his presidential ambitions in Baltimore on Saturday.The Unlikely Race-Blind Mastermind Who’s Teeing Up the Roberts Court Just Scored Again
Evenwel v. Abbott, a case about voter representation, could lead to redistricting that would shift power from urban to rural electoral districts.Cuba Now Officially Off U.S. Terror List
Iran, Syria, and Sudan are the only countries left on the list.I Tried to Install an Air Conditioner Myself and I’ll Give You One Guess As to What Happened
This is the story of every New Yorker's worst nightmare.Creationist Unconvinced by 60-Million-Year-Old Fossil He Found
"There's no dates stamped on these things."6th-Grader Pens Handwritten Apology for Calling 911 and Yelling ‘Deez Nuts’
"I am writing an apology for what I did last night. Last night I called and said deez nuts."Inside the Latest Cuomo–de Blasio Squabble Is a Deeper Divide Over Taxes
Two days of sniping over real-estate regulations.Donald Trump Will Maybe Run For President, Maybe
It could be a once in a lifetime opportunity for him to say lots of crazy things, and all at once.Obama’s Clean Power Plan Is Modest, But It Can Save the World
Why does the coal industry hate a plan that does so little to hurt it?The World’s Oldest Known Homicide Victim Has Been Found
A battered skull is 430,000-year-old evidence of "ancient lethal interpersonal violence."