We Have Obama’s Western Wall Note

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Photo: Getty Images

Somehow still awake after six days of nonstop meetings, interviews, and an exhausting charm offensive, Barack Obama made an early-morning stop at Jerusalem’s Western Wall today, one of the most holy places in Judaism. Obama was filmed at the wall wearing a yarmulke and praying with a rabbi, so you know there are more than a few people today scratching their heads and saying, “Wait, wait — Obama is Jewish? I thought he was a Muslim.” It’s all very confusing, we know. Although it was five in the morning, the scene wasn’t completely tranquil. There were a surprising number of people at the wall, including, the Times writes, “a lone man standing about 10 yards away yell[ing] over and over, ‘Obama, Jerusalem is not for sale!’” Before leaving, Obama placed a note in a crack of the wall according to custom. Luckily, our Daily Intel Jerusalem correspondent — part of our vast global network of journalists — has gotten his hands on the note. Herewith, at the risk of provoking God’s everlasting indignation, is what Obama wrote:

Dear God,


Wow, what a trip this has been. Jerusalem has been great. I really love what you’ve done with the place. Everybody’s really nice, except that loudmouth right behind me who’s yelling “Obama, Jerusalem is not for sale.” I don’t even know what that means. I don’t blame you, though.

I’m going to assume you had something to do with my meteoric rise these past few years — because, really, how else did that happen? When you had Bill Clinton possessed by evil spirits, that was really a nice touch. Anyway, I was hoping I could ask you for a few more things:

1. Please make sure your boy Reverend Wright doesn’t say anything stupid until after the election. I'd like to think you still have some pull with him.
2. Please make John McCain fall asleep standing up, or forget his own name, or something else that makes him seem really old.
3. Also, I still have no idea who to pick for V.P. Can you give me a sign? I’ll have one of my aides carry around a bush in case you want to chat.

Okay, I gotta go to Germany. We’ll be in touch.

Yes we can,
Obama

Dan Amira

Obama Visits the Wall [Caucus/NYT]