Last month, we wrote about a Bloomberg story that reported a lot of New Yorkers are moving to Hotlanta and find it to be, er, Notlanta. “If my kids have a southern accent, I will kill myself,” ex-Brooklynite Jodi Fleisig, who has probably changed her name and address by now, told the news service. The story generated a lot of hateration from Atlantans in our comments, and now Creative Loafing, the city’s alt-weekly, has compiled a counterattack, with a cover story titled “I
Love New York,” which is basically a list of grievances Atlanta natives who live in New York have with their adopted city. “You hear the F-word all day long, from kids on skateboards to old folks on walkers,” one guy says folksily.
There are more down-homey things, too, to the point where we can’t even be mad: We only feel bad for them for being all gentle and dumb and you know, southern. Like when they say, “No one can make a decent biscuit” and “They’ve never heard of sweet tea.” (Whatever, we don’t all have gonorrhea, either, but it doesn’t mean we’ve never heard of it.) But there are some outright lies we must quibble with, such as “You have to go to a park to see a tree.” Boo-hoo, move to Brooklyn.
True, they do kick us in the nuts with their complaints about the “astronomical rent” and about how “car horns are the preferred form of communication” and that “if you want a boyfriend, you have to bring one with you.” But “the pizza is way overrated”? SACRILEGE. Whoever said that, you’re dismissed. Please pack your bags and go home.