Back in our days of underage drinking, we had this one friend who became famous for passing out, like on someone's parents couch or their front yard. She'd lie there like a lawn ornament, refusing to move, until eventually people motivated themselves to hoist her into the car before the cops came. She's much better now.
That's basically what happened to Barbara Walters when she took Cindy Adams on vacation with her to Italy, and Cindy Adams popped two Ambien on the way over. When they arrived, Barbara tried to wake her up:
She tried to pour black coffee down my swanlike throat.
"I like milk in mine," I'm told I dribbled.
She hand-fed me a croissant. I think. I don't remember. Because as it made its way down my swanlike throat I dozed off again. She says she tried to get me to stand. Forget it.
The flight attendant said, "I'll get a wheelchair for your friend." Two men navigated me off the plane, out the door, down the stairs to the wheelchair … The nice men wheeled me to a waiting car. Minus a seat belt, I was slumped way over like a hoop. My head was on my knees — like in the crash position. The big star of "20/20" and "The View" hauled our carry-on bags, hers and mine.
Aw, what a hilarious yet heartwarming of postmenopausal female friendship! This is what we imagine Sex and the City is going to be like if they keep making movies, complete with hilarious subplots about missing dentures and a scene in which Charlotte discovers she needs Depends.