Denver Dispatch: What We Wouldn’t Do to Get on the Convention Floor

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It's no secret that this year's DNC prides itself on exclusiveness. As Ayelet Waldman recounted, it's impossible to get anywhere near the Pepsi Center, let alone on the floor, if you aren't super-important. Same goes for some convention parties. Sex, Politics, and Cocktails, the Planned Parenthood event with guests like Ashley Judd and Alan Cumming, promised to be a steamy affair, but when we sidled up to the VIP entrance at Samba, we were shut out cold. One of the volunteers apologized, saying that they had received 2,500 RSVPs, but the restaurant could only hold 450 people. (Planned Parenthood volunteers walked up and down the block-long line we were sent to, handing out condoms that read “Protect yourself against John McCain.”) When we finally got inside no one was there but journalists and delegates — and a frisky Middle Eastern diplomat who wandered over to ask us why we weren't dancing.

“No, we're much better at texting than dancing,” we explained. He kept trying to get us out to the floor, but we assured him we wanted to steer clear of Flo Rida (and local politicians). But then he leaned in, put his hand on our neck, and asked us if we wanted to use his floor pass. Shocked and intrigued, we wondered what exactly we might have to do to get the most coveted item at the convention. He laughed and said, “It certainly won't be dancing.” Our initial reaction was to shriek, “We are most certainly not that girl!” But then we thought about the early morning, the long line, and the inevitable denial of that one thing we want most in the world. Plus, Hillary would be speaking! But in the end, we made an awkward escape. Planned Parenthood hadn’t inspired us like that.