Yesterday, Vice and The Village Voice made us feel very old. The two publications, which despite their waning relevance manage in some way to be edgy in a manner that eludes us, both have slideshows from a hipster party that occurred over the weekend. The event kind of struck us as both spontaneous and secretive in exactly the way something hip should be — because if it wasn’t a secret, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place. It was the kind of party that should have taken place in Williamsburg, but it was even cooler. It was on the Williamsburg Bridge. Or in it, really. Ninjasonik and Japanther performed on a span under the car level, and a collection of scraggly haired boys and girls wearing vintage prairie dresses came with beers in brown paper bags (not ironically — because they were in public). The party lasted a good while and attracted a solid crowd before the cops arrived to break it up.
This made us feel old not only because we don’t even know who Ninjasonik or Japanther even are, but also because when we look at all the pictures of the kids jumping around between the I beams on the bridge, all we can think is: OH MY GOD THAT IS SO DANGEROUS-SEEMING. Thank goodness we are wearing Depends, because we totally just made in our pants.