We've already told you some parts of this tale, but it deserves a retelling — because now it has a happy ending.
Once upon a time, there was a pretty, pretty kitty named Powder. He had a happy home in a faraway land called New Jersey, where everybody gets enough sleep but surprisingly there are no dreams. Powder's life was so full of love that he grew and grew and grew until he was nearly perfectly round and weighed 44 pounds. But soon a pall fell over New Jersey and all the nearby lands, and Powder was exiled from his home. He wandered the streets, looking for a new home, but no one would take him in.
When Powder was finally rescued, he was so hungry he couldn't speak. His saviors, blinded by his beauty, assumed that he must be some sort of lost royal lady, and named him Princess Chunk. He immediately became an international celebrity and had to endure a variety of trials and humiliations. Hundreds of people offered to take the orphan in. Then, as the fickle public eye turned its glare in another, uglier direction, Powder fell into obscurity once more.
But just when the ten-year-old cat began to think he would never have a roof over his head again, one was found for him. Doctors gave him a clean bill of health, and he was sent to live with a family in the warm south of New Jersey. He will live with two other cats and eat a low-carbohydrate, high-protein diet. He will have a steady exercise regime, too. But the best part? His new adopted father is already building a castle over his litter box, so that Powder — a.k.a. Princess Chunk — can finally feel like he's home.