More little tidbits about the John Edwards–Rielle Hunter affair have been trickling out, as they are wont to do considering that the former senator's mistress has refused to allow a paternity test to put all questions to rest and that her baby, as one source tells the Daily News, looks like "John Edwards in a onesie" (not so cute, by the way?). Below, we parse everything you "need" to know.
• We'll start with what is by far the most important news, reported by Us Weekly, that Hunter had bit parts in eighties movie Overboard and cusp-of-the-eighties movie Ricochet, answering, at least partly, the eternal question of where all those big-haired blonde chicks from the eighties went. We're working at getting clips of these, in no small part because we want an excuse to watch movies at work.
• The proud peacocks at the Enquirer, hot on the new respect they are getting from the chagrined mainstream media, trotted out some new info today to great fanfare. They say that Edwards restarted the affair after confessing it to his wife and was sleeping with Hunter when she became pregnant; that he was aware that his former finance-committee chairman, Fred Baron, was funneling money to Rielle; that he is still paying off Hunter; and that basically he is "still lying!" (as an outraged source said). "He lied to his wife, Elizabeth, he's lying to Rielle, and he lied all the way through his TV interview!" He's probably lying right now.
• Roxanne Druck, Rielle's other sister (in addition to Melissa), thinks so. She gave a mouthful to Entertainment Tonight last night. "The most shocking thing was watching him on TV giving these half-truths, these half-baked answers," she said of Edwards, adding that it's totally obvious that the kid is his. "She's got his eyes and jaw line and lips." Despite her treacherous features, "my niece is not a bastard," she finished. "I just don't think it's right." It's cool, Roxanne, we all know who the bastard is.
• And that would be Rush Limbaugh, who went to the Silda Spitzer place and blamed Elizabeth Edwards this morning. "We've been told that Elizabeth Edwards is smarter than John Edwards," he said. "That's part of the puff pieces on them that we've seen. Ergo…could it be that she doesn't shut up? It just seems to me that Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk.…What could John Edwards's motivations have been to have the affair with Rielle Hunter, given his wife is smarter than he is and probably nagging him a lot about doing this, and he found somebody that did something with her mouth other than talk?" Nice.
• Though Hunter's sisters are popping up all over the place, some family members are not getting involved, such as Andrew Young's mother-in-law, Susan Pfister, who told the Daily News she did not "want to be bothered" with her son's insane sex scandal when they approached her at Ethel's, the bar she owns in Illinois. "I don't want to know anything. Nothing."
• Neither does Robert McGovern, the New York–based "healer" who drove Hunter to a meeting with Edwards and is rejecting claims that he ratted them out to the Enquirer. "This is Rielle's problem," his daughter told the Daily News. Needless to say, this is so going to mess with his karma.
• Portfolio columnist Jeff Bercovici would also prefer to not hear about this anymore. He finds the way the media is gorging itself on the Edwards affair "sickening." (However, humiliating 60-year-olds who are thinking of getting some work done, that's journalism.)