Us Weekly has this funny habit. When they report stories on their Website, they like to add (as most blogs do) a link to previous stories or, more often, a slideshow of photos, in order to drive traffic to other parts of the site. You know, like, "See more pictures of celebrity babies," "See more pics of famous couples before they broke up," "See grainy pictures of celebrities crying." What's weird about Us Weekly's links is that they pop them in right in the middle of the text, like they just remembered something and couldn't wait until they finished the story to tell you. It's kind of distracting, and so usually we just ignore the links and continue reading the story. But today, when a link appeared in the middle of Us's rumination over whether 14-year-old Ali Lohan got a boob job that said "SEE PHOTOS OF STARS SMOOSHED BOOBS," we totally clicked. Because you know what? We figured looking at pictures of macerated breasts would be less creepy than staring at the chest of a developing 14-year-old child and pondering, as Us does, "Do you think Ali's growth spurt was natural?" It turned out to just be pictures of Jessica Simpson and Scarlett Johansson and, for the love of god, Janice Dickinson with their boobs busting out of their bikinis. But still.
Most Viewed Stories
Monica Foy, the Victim of a Terrifying Right-Wing Internet-Shaming, Speaks Out
How Captain America’s Stuffed Cast Caused a Marvel Civil War
Chris Evans Is Down to Play Captain America Forever
The Iran Deal and the End of the Israel Lobby
A Celebration of Ben Affleck’s Nanny
Watch Young Angelina Jolie Own This Acting Class
Take a Breath — the ‘Wildest Dreams’ Video Isn’t Racist — Now Exhale
Miley Cyrus’s Dead Petz Is Hard to Like, or Even Endure
The New Star Wars BB-8 Toy Is So Cute, I Nearly Lost My Mind
What It Means to Be Thick and Fit on Instagram
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerThe Wedding Business Is Booming at Burning Man
'Til tech do us part.Rowan County Gives Out First Marriage Licenses to Same-Sex Couples [Updated]
Meanwhile, Kim Davis is still in jail.Monica Foy, the Victim of a Terrifying Right-Wing Internet-Shaming, Speaks Out
“It just takes one bullet to kill me from one gun from one person, and that one person is out there. So no, I will never feel safe. Not for me, not for my family, not for anyone I know who has publicly supported me.”BBC Talks to Expert About Scott Walker’s Bald Spot
"It's almost void of hair completely, so it is possible he did have an accident at some point in his life."Man Indicted After Butt-Dialing Burglary Plans to 911
Authorities were suspicious when a burglary happened that sounded similar to one they had overheard on a call earlier that day.Clinton on Emails: ‘I Am Sorry That This Has Been Confusing to People’
“And I take responsibility and it wasn’t the best choice.”Letter From a City Buried in Garbage — and on the Brink of Civil War
In Beirut, the corrupt government can't figure out how to pick up the garbage. Is this the final straw for a nation long teetering on the edge of violence?The Iran Deal and the End of the Israel Lobby
There is no more "Israel lobby"; there is a red Israel lobby and a blue one.At Burning Man’s Airport, There Are Propeller People and Jet People
"The people who take advantage are the charter guys bringing in the rich — I heard $5,000 a flight.”
Meanwhile, thousands of migrants wait, wondering whether they will even reach safety.
The seats were empty, so no one was hurt.Should Real-Estate Developers Fix the Subway?
An offer they might not refuse.Jeb Bush Sides With Both Same-Sex Couples and Kentucky County Clerk
Then suggests a compromise Kim Davis already rejected.One Student Killed, Two Injured in Shooting at Sacramento College
The shooter is still at large.How Ben Carson Surged by Staying Under the Radar
Since he doesn’t act like a politician and won’t attack his fellow candidates, no one has figured out how to stop him.Biden Says He Still Doesn’t Know If He Has the ‘Emotional Energy’ to Run in 2016
In his first intentionally public remarks on the matter.How Trump Outmaneuvered the GOP Again
In promising not to run as a third-party candidate, the Donald gave a little and got a lot.Rick Perry Reveals That He Doesn’t Know How Clocks Work and That He’s Staying in the 2016 Race
"A broken clock is right once a day."Two Topless Women Are Assaulted, Another Is Arrested in Times Square
There were two separate incidents involving "desnudas" on Wednesday night.Kentucky County Clerk Who Refused to Issue Marriage Licenses Sent to Jail [Updated]
She will be released as soon as she agrees to comply with the court's order.