Oh my God, you guys. We were fully enjoying Jon Liu's extravagantly brilliant and extraordinary detailed account of this past weekend's Gossip Girl party at Henri Bendel on the Observer Website. Until we got to the part where the reporter's conversation is interrupted by a superfan:
AHHHRRH! Omigod! Ruuuu-fus. I can't see! I can't see! Rufus!"
The timbre implied some decades of bourbon and unfiltered cigarettes, yet the accent, slack-jawed and non-rhotic, recalled Paramus Park Mall. The unholy racket was coming from a figure about four-foot-nine, pressed up against the velvet rope, despite repeated admonitions from large security men. She wore a teal velour hoodie up top and athletic shorts below, with bright sneakers and striped tube socks. Actual tube socks! There was a large hair clip growing out of the side of her head.
She was, no doubt, a Fan, and she dominated her end of the carpet as surely as the idling limousines did the other. Her combustions were decidedly external, though: elbows were thrown, as were near-fits. She was here first and she was the biggest Gossip Girl fanatic, and so no, she won't step aside or stop yelping in your ear! Someone was going to have to answer for the news that neither Dan nor Nate nor Chuck would be showing up tonight, and oh, by the way, could the reporter from OK! Magazine snap a few shots for her with this digital camera?
Crap. Yes, it's true, that was totally us. We're so embarrassed. But like, you know how it is when you spend the weekend drinking Red Bull mixed with Pixy Sticks and watching the last season of Gossip Girl over and over in preparation for the SEASON TWO OPENER WHICH IS, OH MY GOD, MONDAY. Anyway, we tried to lie and save face by telling Liu we were teenage girls from Florida, but everyone at the office recognized the tube socks immediately. So busted.