The ‘Journal’ Discovers Something Different About Barack Obama

Obama
Can any of the presidents on the dollar bills do this? Photo: Getty Images

Today The Wall Street Journal tells us something we all secretly knew about America but nobody likes to talk about: Voters don't like to vote for someone who doesn't look like them. And this, of course, is a problem for Barack Obama. Why? Because he's not fat.

That's right, they said it. They recognized the giraffe in the room. The last U.S. president we had that was tall and skinny was Abraham Lincoln, they argue. Our big fat country simply does not trust a candidate who doesn't like his junk food. Just listen to these damning testimonials from everyday Americans:

• "He needs to put some meat on his bones." —Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife in Corpus Christi, Tex.
• "I won't vote for any beanpole guy." —a Clinton supporter on a Yahoo message board
• "Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day." —McCain campaign manager Rick Davis.
• "[Barack] doesn't like sweets … Everybody should like ice cream." —Sasha Obama, age 7

Man, that last one has got to sting. Except, wait. Isn't George Bush in really good shape? He's famous for his vaguely dangerous mountain-biking excursions. And Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter were both pretty trim. And JFK was a rail when he was elected! Come on, this is a farce. This article has taught us nothing, except maybe that "skinny" is about to be the hot new euphemism for "black."

Too Fit to be President? [WSJ]