Did you hear? People magazine paid $14 million for the rights to shoot and publish photos of Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon, the twin babies of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. That's twice the amount that a celebrity weekly has ever paid for infant snaps because, you know, there are two of them. And they're the most important babies to ever be born in the world, after Jesus and JonBenet Ramsey. And this cover of People is adorable, right?
In that cover photo, it looks like Vivienne Marcheline — clearly the Ashley half of this Olsen-like combo — is sporting a giant grin. She may even be laughing. Hold on. These babies are purported to be a mere 3 weeks old! Parenting magazine says that babies don't smile from exterior stimulation until two to four months — even if said exterior stimulation is the most beautiful pair of humans in the entire world. Conspiracy! Photoshop! Something! There could be a perfectly logical explanation, of course. The babies could have been born earlier than reported to avoid paparazzi attention, as has been rumored. Or Angelina and Brad, predicting their future acting careers, are already lying about the infants' ages. Or these babies could be hyperadvanced super geniuses — in which case, for photos of the genetically perfect future of humanity, the $14 million People paid was probably a bargain.
Meet Vivienne & Knox Jolie-Pitt [People]