Blaine Trump Divorce Will Be a ‘Circus,’ Says Source


The summer may be over, but the spate of exciting divorces has not ended yet! Today’s Post tells us that Blaine and Robert Trump, brother of Donald, are finally getting divorced; they filed in Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday after three years of separation. This is going to be a good one because (a) they have no prenuptial agreement, (b) Blaine has hired Robert Cohen, the lawyer who represented Christie Brinkley in her recent divorce case and who was responsible for making Peter Cook weep on the stand about his “private, secret” masturbation habits, and (c) because, duh, they’re Trumps, and as a source tells the Post, the trial is sure to bring “all of the expected media circus that a Trump divorce brings.” A circus! Now that would be fun. Like if they really made a thing out of it, and instead of bailiffs they had ringmasters with long twirly mustaches and capes announcing the witnessess and along with testimony, they’d have Cirque du Soleil acrobats do interpretive dances of Robert’s alleged infidelities. Blaine could ride in on an elephant and there would be vendors on the front steps of the courthouse selling massive swirls of cotton candy, which would later appear in the lede of a Times article about the trial as a metaphor for how these public spectacles are decaying civilization as sugar rots teeth. Whatever. We’d truck it up to Long Island for that.