George Gurley, ‘Observer’ Try to Objectify Sarah Palin As Many Times As Possible in One Article

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Don't think impure thoughts.
Don't think impure thoughts. Photo: Getty Images

In today's Observer, nightlife writer and in-house oversharer George Gurley writes about how he recently wandered around downtown asking men whether they wanted to have sex with Sarah Palin. (Spoiler: They do.) It's kind of insane and offensive and brilliant all at once. But it also will give endless fodder to anyone looking for examples of the media's sexist treatment of the Alaska governor. Here are his best, most disturbing lines:

• "I want to have sex with her. Want to lick that face and drool on it like a dog."
• "During her speech at the convention: No cleavage? No fair. Slurp slurp."
• "I want her to take care of me. Nurse! Climb into bed with me and watch movies, cuddle, laugh, play footsie."
• "I see she had a tanning bed installed in the Governor’s mansion. That means no tan lines. Mmmm, me likey!"
• "Camping! Take a pontoon plane, go fishing for walleyes and northern pike. Listen to the loons. In the morning, she'd chase away a bear, then get back into the sleeping bag with me. Her husband can come along, too, I guess. Don't want to see his dick."
• "Just the two of us in a big suite [at the Regency]. Then she waits in the sitting room while I take a bubble bath — I like to lay in the tub for a half-hour with the shower water beating down on me."
• "I would like to smell her."

You see what Gurley is trying to do here? Yeah. Hmmm. We don't either. But we love it anyway.

My Vice President [Observer]