Earlier this week a couple of female Hofstra University students decided, upon moving into their new Franklin Square apartment, that they would get their smoke detectors checked out. You know, to make sure they worked. That they were mature and responsible enough to do this is something we find, frankly, staggering, as we're personally in the habit of totally ignoring the smoke detector until it goes off, usually when we're microwaving something we shouldn't, thereby forcing us to smack it off the wall with a broom, making a mockery of everything taught to us by Smokey the Bear. But what these students found was even more surprising: a couple of teeny-tiny spy cameras that, they later found, transmitted a live feed of images from their bedrooms directly to their creepy landlord's computer. The landlord, 44-year-old financial adviser Michael Muratore, was promptly arrested for illegal surveillance, whereupon he tried to convince the police that he hadn't installed said cameras because he was a total perv but "to make sure there was no damage being done to the apartments." Well of course. Sure. We can see his point; checking for damages is something you would totally need live feeds for. From the bedroom, which is where all damage happens. Because you'd want to be able to watch the destruction in real time and know who did it. Because you'd want to be able to properly punish them. Because they're a bad, bad, girl. No. What? Anyway, that is really gross, and you know what? We think we'll pay a little closer attention to our smoke detectors from now on.
Most Viewed Stories
Every Netflix Original Series, Ranked
What’s New on Netflix: September 2015
Thank You, Nicki Minaj
How We Are Your Friends and Other August Flops Were Maimed by Bad Marketing
Miley Cyrus’s VMAs Outfits, Ranked From Bad to Worse
The Man Deciding Whether to Cheat on His Sexless Relationship
Romney Is Horrified by Trump — and That’s Restarting ‘Mitt 2016’ Talk
James Bond Author Has a Casually Racist Reason Why Idris Elba Shouldn’t Play 007 [Updated]
More Intriguingly Mundane Moments From Hillary Clinton’s Email
What’s Leaving Netflix: September 2015
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerRomney Is Horrified by Trump — and That’s Restarting ‘Mitt 2016’ Talk
“Mitt wants to run. He never stopped wanting to run,” says a senior member of his 2012 team.The Popemobile Will Now Be Cruising Through Central Park
New Yorkers can win tickets via a lottery to see Pope Francis there September 25.What It Was Like to Do a Flyby of Pluto
Whoa.The ‘Taxi of Tomorrow’ Is Now Officially the Taxi of Today
Most yellow-cab owners in New York are now required to upgrade to the boxy Nissan NV200 when replacing their older vehicles.8 Ways Scott Walker Revealed His Pure Love of Reagan
Takeaways from a revealing interview.ISIS Destroyed Another Ancient Temple in Syria
The U.N. has now confirmed the destruction of the Temple of Bel, which was nearly 2,000 years old.Baby Girl Enters World in the Backseat of an NYC Uber
Her mom gave birth near the Lincoln Tunnel, on the way to the hospital.Defying the Supreme Court, Kentucky Clerk Is Still Denying Marriage Licenses to Same-Sex Couples
Even after being instructed by the court to issue the licenses, Rowan County clerk Kim Davis rejected two more couples this morning, citing “God's authority.”More Intriguingly Mundane Moments From Hillary Clinton’s Email
Featuring Chelsea's memo to her parents, concerns about gefilte fish, and plenty of mysterious redactions.
The university's president said Columbia would host the president after he left the White House — but offered no more details.
Forty-two-year-old Sean Ludwick is being held on $1 million bond.Where Does 2020 Presidential Candidate Kanye West Stand on the Issues?
He’s concerned about prison reform and income inequality, but may be anti-book.Jeb Bush Responds to Insanely Racist Trump Ad by Calling Trump Liberal
Nice party you’ve got here, Republicans.Giant Dead-Rat Bouquet Adorns Lower East Side Scaffolding
Yup.Vice Journalists Accused of ‘Terror Activity’ in Turkey
Their translator was also arrested.Dick Cheney’s Ideas to Stop Iranian Nukes Are As Sophisticated As You Might Expect
The man who did more to enable Iran's rise to power than anybody in history speaks out.Couple Arrested for Taking Selfies on Boat Already Occupied by Sleeping Family
They left behind a bag of still-warm food from a KFC/Taco Bell.Cheney Sure Likes the Idea of a Biden Presidential Campaign
"Well, go for it, Joe."Is America Ready for a Dog President?
Let's hope so!Obama to Run Off Into the Alaskan Wilderness With Bear Grylls
"President Obama will become the first U.S. president to receive a crash course in survival techniques from Bear Grylls."