Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Spread Her Goop All Over

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John McCain descending with Steve Schmidt. Photo: Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow holds the secrets to a happy life, and she want to share them on her new Website, GOOP. Presently the site is pretty bare except for a welcome statement, which sort of explains what GOOP means and what it will entail. “I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time,” the statement reads (did Chris Martin write this?). “Over the years, I have tried a lot of different things. I have made lots of mistakes [Duets, for example]. But I have figured some things out in the process and I would like to share them with you.” One thing we hope she figured out is how to avoid trademark-infringement lawsuits. We’re not lawyers, but a quick Google search turns up a few brands that use “goop” in their names, like the “amazing” glue, the multi-purpose hand cleaner, and, of course, the fish formula and bait scent. Who knew such a gross-sounding name would be so popular?

[GOOP]