Maria Bartiromo, Suze Orman, and Donny Deutsch all want to be on a big MSNBC billboard that's going over the West Side Highway. A drug addict pleaded guilty to stealing more than $10K worth of stuff from Kirsten Dunst's room at the Soho Grand. Furrier Dennis Basso had a $200,000 lien put on his CPW pad by the IRS. Kelly Killoren Bensimon bought lingerie in Nolita put out by Elle Macpherson, who, like Kelly, was also married to fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon. Lindsay Lohan turned down $700K to pose nude, styled like Ann-Margret, for Playboy's 55th-anniversary issue. Sopranos guy Joe Pantoliano came to the GOP to lobby for people who have mental illness, like himself. (And we just noticed that the Post slugged this link "crazy_advocate." So sensitive, Post!) Alec Baldwin of 30 Rock and My Name Is Earl producer Greg Garcia are in a nasty little fight over their shows. Kim Kardashian texted her sister Khloe to suggest having a power lunch with ex-Apprentice shrew Omarosa to get ideas to help Khloe win the next Celebrity Apprentice. (Yawn.)
Mario Testino and Simon Doonan are brutally mocked in a new book by Vanity Fair's fashion director. Lance Armstrong says you can't be a bike champion and a sex champion at the same time. Chris Rock grimly thinks his career will one day go the way of Michael Jackson and Vanilla Ice. At the release party for New Kids on the Block's reunion album, Mark Wahlberg didn't show, Jordan Knight cut out early, and Donnie Wahlberg showed up late and refused to associate with the other Kids. Disaster on the block! (Except, wait. Did Marky Mark ever count as a real member of NKOTB?) Cindy Adams says that Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin's husband sat next to each other during Palin's speech but didn't say a word to each other.
Britney Spears started drinking while a 13-year-old Mouseketeer, lost her virginity at 14 (but not to Justin!), and started doing drugs at 15, says her mom, Lynne, in a new book brimming with maternal protectiveness. Rosario Dawson ate buttermilk fried chicken, then corn dogs at the RNC. (What was homegirl doing there?) Joey Arias discomfitted bankers by singing a profane love song to Isabel Toledo at a lunch in her honor. Prince Will thinks that Beyoncé always looks splendid. On the set of Bride Wars, Kate Hudson bossed around Anne Hathaway, but Anne got revenge by getting the January cover of Vogue. ScarJo bribes her way into Woody Allen's movies by baking him pies. And Dina Matos is shrewdly pursuing a fraud claim on ex-husband and ex-guv of New Jersey James McGreevey, saying she wouldn't have married him if she'd known he was a big 'mo.