Natalie Portman and musician Devendra Banhart have broken up, Us Weekly informs us gravely. “Things just weren’t working out,” a Portman source explained to the magazine. “Natalie is young and they just were very different ultimately.” We have mixed emotions about this. On the one hand: Thank God, because that relationship was kind of annoying to us for some reason. On the other: We feel sort of sad because this one time we saw Porthart, as we will posthumously call them, at Blue Hill because of course they were at Blue Hill and they actually looked very happy, in that “I’m a smug rich hippie and I eat at Blue Hill” type of way. But what’s really confusing is this further explanation from Us’s source.
“She’s really a free spirit,” the source adds. “She’s complicated because she’s very serious about her career and smart but also artistic and free-thinking. It’s tough to match.”
Ha! That person was trying to say something nice but they secretly think Natalie is a crazy capricious bitch.