Instead of the real former mayor of New York City, pretend Manhattan District Attorney Fred Thompson will be delivering the keynote address tonight at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul. Joining Thompson will be former Democratic senator Joe Lieberman. According to the Associated Press, "It was unclear whether Thompson had replaced Giuliani as the convention keynote and, if so, why. Convention planners have not announced schedules for Wednesday and Thursday so it's possible the former New York mayor could get another slot."
Umm … Giuliani could get another slot? Now, we've gone over quite a bumpy road with the guy since he announced in February 2007 he was going to run for president. But he is still America's mayor. He still, in his own way, represents us. Fred Thompson was a senator for as long as Giuliani was mayor, and Lieberman has been on the national stage for twenty-odd years now, so we see why they want to keep them onboard. But there must be some other place they could stick Rudy. Maybe someone who governs a state with a population that is less than one-tenth that of New York City. Or someone who was just some no-name, part-time, small-town mayor until recently. Maybe a person who has even more family scandals than Giuliani himself?
If only there were someone like that who had an inexplicably large speaking role at the convention. It would make much more sense to put Giuliani in that position, right?