The Bright Side of the Economic Meltdown

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Sorry, but only John McClane can stop him now.
Sorry, but only John McClane can stop him now. Photo: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

At long last, no children will be left behind: "For years now Wall Street has been far too lucrative for a certain kind of energetic and ambitious person to justify anything but the most perfunctory personal life. Now that the market for his services has collapsed, he has time to go home and figure out which of the children roaming around the mansion are actually his. In time, he will learn to love them and they him, and they will gain the benefit of his wisdom and experience. Perhaps one day they will put it to use as traders and investment bankers, on the Wall Street of the future, where they will report to those exalted creatures of high finance: loan officers. There, slowly, they can earn the money they will need to pay off the mortgages defaulted upon by their forebears." [The Big Money]